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Photos of Stuff

Sviatoslav

My dad made me a poster of Sviatoslav Richter albums when I was 15. This was only half of them.

My printer made a modern art masterpiece

My printer made a modern art masterpiece

my sunday best

Dressed up
the tree of life

I found the Tree of Life.

Me with PDQ Bach and Suzanne Vega right after I told a really stupid joke

I photoshopped this. This would make a great Chopin book.

I took this photo of an Alligator Snapping Turtle looking like it's breathing smoke

The North Country

Sam just kickin' it

My home has a shrine to Conway Twitty

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FYI, my town's pharmacy has a lot of new family planning merchandise.

I forged this Mickey Mantle autograph in 2nd grade, my dad said I was quite pleased on my 2nd attempt

Trying to conduct

score for a prepared piano piece I wrote long ago

I flew overseas and dressed as Dennis Nedry from Jurassic Park for the flight

Birds and Squid

'Self Portrait with Birds and Squid'- I made this drawing in college with used printer ink cartridges.

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'Fire and Ice': Me in winter, holding a compact disc copy of the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves soundtrack

my cats looking like they're on a Christian Rock album cover

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A picture of my cat and it looks a bit like that famous Stravinsky photo

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The Professional.

Mary Stewart the Caracal, great at catching birds, good listener

At the national academy of sciences building for my dad's induction, Einstein disapproves of my presence

End of my dissertation

Schubert

Saw this album and realized why so many people over the years have said I look like Schubert.

Feeding hungry hungry Rajah

Giant Squid beak, a present from my brother!

Many attempt, few were born for it

Ligeti Autograph - realer than Real Deal Holyfield

Boulez - 3rd piano Sonata

I bought this Boulez score in high school and later put it on my dorm wall in college. T.Rex figure there for scale.

Figure 4

I collected old baseball cards when I was a kid. My favorite set is 1956 Topps. I wanted a quartet and found one close enough.

Italy
Giant Squid Cake

Giant Squid cake for my 17th Birthday!

Barbeque Man Unleashed

Barbeque Man Jr. makes his entrance in his rematch with Baron Banks Gentry.

All or Nothing

From a former student, the gift of Milli Vanilli

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Words of wisdom.

Sam

Sam helping me level up in Skyrim

Good times.
Look-a-like champs!

My dog Thatch and I won a dog/owner look-a-like contest

Tsar cat

I made this hoodie

Barbeque Man Dance

Still from the BBQ Man Dance video, wearing an authentic WrestleMania 2 shirt that doesn't fit me

The Barbeque Man Dance

Still from the music video directed by Jeremy Seifert.

My Pro Wrestling VHS collection. Intimidating, I know.

My Christmas Tree

"Fear not, for, behold; I bring you tithings and great joy!"

Sam and deer
Me and my JP T. Rex

In a music grad student office at Duke

Cat album cover

I took a picture of my cats and thought they looked like they were on a Christian Rock album cover. An anonymous photoshop hero later sent this image to me.

Barbeque Man Stunner

Barbeque Man Jr. delivers a stunner to Baron Banks Gentry at Wrestlefest 30.

T-shirt!

Custom t-shirt featuring some of my favorite music personalities from history.

What Just Popped in There 2

Vanderbilt Jenkins removes a chair that Baron Banks Gentry used on BBQ Man Jr while the ref wasn't looking. From their first match. Barbeque Man Unleashed.

Through the broadcast table

Vanderbilt Jenkins, the executive financial advisor of Baron Banks Gentry, crashes through the broadcasting table in the second half of Barbeque Man Unleashed.

Jaws the Revenge.

Me next to the fin used in Jaws: The Revenge, generally considered one of the worst movies ever made.

I never saw the Tom Cruise movie The Last Samurai, but I wrote a song on what it's probably about

Truest Haiku

Truest Haiku - Paul Swartzel
00:00 / 01:20
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Was a little boy in Japan
(And this is true)
It was hard times, Pre-World War 2
Pre-Kamikazes comin down from the sky
when Tom Cruise ruled as The Last Samurai
.....and he was a tyrant

Threw the boy's mama in the Slam
Cause she blew
Outlawed Tunes on the Japanese Flute
meaning Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung cover band,
Boy got in his truck, went down to jail, and made demands:

"Hey Cruise, I'm here to do three things:
Get my mama
Kick some ass
and play some Japanese flute music....
Looks like I'm almost outta flute, MANE, gimme my mama."


Cruise told him to beat it and scram,
"Disperse!
Wait, ya want ya mama, ya better gimme a verse
bout something sacred to your kin."

Boy said a curse
The F word, the worst,
and on a whim
boy said with a grin

[oh, jus look at that grin]

"You want a haiku?
You can't handle a haiku

A Few Good Men 2"

The Director said "Cut!
We're gonna make a billion bucks!
Make a trailer that goes...
Weeeouuuooooewwwww"


And they did. 

Because

The Industrial Revolution
Has Been a Disaster
For The Human Race





 

Snake Bite Memorial

Snake Bite Memorial
00:00 / 01:10

Good day to you, and you, and you

and a Good Day Everybody, Hey!

That’s not how we do things in Indianapolis

 

Oh, No thanks to you and you and you

That's not how we do things!

​

That’s NOT how we do things in Indianapolis.

 

"The Snake Bite Memorial 

Takes up all the land with 

Names of those killed by snakes..

...lot bigger than our Vietnam...

​

and it’s shaped like a Snake,

One that swallowed an egg,

well, with no more room you gotta go up

with bigger font for the wealthy dead

 

Some parts an names removed,

now some soldier's souvenir

'Oh, we’ll get them back!'

That's what they say

at least election year... 

 

But not today

Not today.

 

Everybody sayin':

​​

“Get rid of the snakes

Get rid of the snakes

Get rid of the snakes!

Get rid of em , rid of em......"

​

But that's not how we things in 

IN-DI-ANA-AP-PO-LIS

​

THAT'S not how we do things

No, we don't.

That’s NOT how we do things in Indianapolis

 

We got room to build.

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