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Paul Swartzel

Tis the season. Strap Season

Daddy Home and Beyond Beyond

Ye truest of Parables,
uh Bluest o' Pair o' Balls

yall, flea market bird fair

Albums and EPs streaming(Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, Tidal. etc.) 

Music 

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Professional Intro

The Hammer without a Masturbator

Prepared Piano Etude

"I don't know where you people come from"

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Super Mash Potato Fantasy in C
00:00 / 03:23
Get that Goozle - Paul Swartzel
00:00 / 03:25
Staying Alive
00:00 / 04:27
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Kind of a cover of the BeeGees song through
some kind of Schoenberg op. 19 no. 6 prism
(prepared piano) 

Hojamei - Paul Swartzel
00:00 / 04:52

Hey, The Most
Beautiful Girl
in the World, look...

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Is snakes out there this biig?

It's Medicine Time. 

I went to a barber shop, showed them a picture of Wayne Knight from JP,  and said I want Full Nedry. Dennis Nedry actually survives Jurassic Park, got the 1.5 million, and drops a diss track on his former corporate employer.

Journey's 'any way you want it' with.a Bach goldberg variation and altered and additional orchestration and in 3/4 

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Where they go?

Transcription Project

Major key, altered vocal Remix of Nirvana's Something in the way.
Always liked Kurt Cobain's voice and wanted to see what it sounded like in different contexts

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I never saw the Tom Cruise movie The Last Samurai, but I wrote a song on what it's probably about

Truest Haiku

Truest Haiku - Paul Swartzel
00:00 / 01:20
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Was a little boy in Japan
(And this is true)
It was hard times, Pre-World War 2
Pre-Kamikazes comin down from the sky
when Tom Cruise ruled as The Last Samurai
.....and he was a tyrant

Threw the boy's mama in the Slam
Cause she blew
Outlawed Tunes on the Japanese Flute
meaning Dance Hall Days, Wang Chung cover band,
Boy got in his truck, went down to jail, and made demands:

"Hey Cruise, I'm here to do three things:
Kick some ass
Get my mama
and play some Japanese flute music....
Looks like I'm almost outta flute, MANE, gimme my mama."

Cruise told him to beat it and scram,
"Disperse!
Wait, ya want ya mama, ya better gimme a verse
bout something sacred to your kin."

Boy said a curse
The F word, the worst,
and on a whim
he said with a grin

[oh, jus look at that grin]

"You want a haiku?
You can't handle a haiku
A Few Good Men 2"

The Director said "Cut!
We're gonna make a billion bucks!
Make a trailer that goes...
Weeeouuuooooewwwww"

And they did. 

Because
The Industrial Revolution
Has Been a Disaster
For The Human Race




 

Snake Bite Memorial

Snake Bite Memorial
00:00 / 01:10

Good day to you, and you, and you

and a Good Day Everybody, Hey!

That’s not how we do things in Indianapolis

 

Oh, No thanks to you and you and you

That's not how we do things!

​

That’s NOT how we do things in Indianapolis.

 

"Yeah, The Snake Bite Memorial 

Takes up all the land with 

Names of those killed by snakes..

...lot bigger than our Vietnam...

​

and it’s shaped like a Snake,

One that swallowed an egg,

well, with no more room you gotta go up

with larger font for the wealthy dead

 

Some parts an names removed,

now some soldier's souvenir

'Oh, we’ll get them back!'

That's what they say

at least election year... 

 

But not today

Not today.

 

Everybody sayin':

​​

“Get rid of the snakes

Get rid of the snakes

Get rid of the snakes!

Get rid of em , rid of em......"

​

But that's not how we things in 

IN-DI-ANA-AP-PO-LIS

​

THAT'S not how we do things

No, we don't.

That’s NOT how we do things in Indianapolis

 

We got room to build.

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