God Nostrils
Fantasy in G minor (Phlassy Paul)
God made a nostril
It was pleasing
Took a step back, went:
“Buh bum bum bujjjjbuahuabbbum.”
“Beautiful.” Said, “I’ve got to make another.”
Went, “Buh bum buh bum Buh baum.”
Set them free…
A pair of nostrils flaring in the sky
Where are they going? What are they doing?
And Why?
I don’t know and I never really cared
But I met this Irishman who said
“The Answer: Balls on ya muthafuckin’ TV screen
Believe it, you betta believe it
Tha muthafuckas makin Heyzeus look like a pacman
You betta believe it
Balls of screen swingin’, swingin’
Ewwweee you betta believе. I’m singin:
‘Schobbah lobbah Schobbah lobbah
Schobbah lobbah Schobbah lobbah’
That’s an answer for you, but no solution.”
Well, he didn’t sound Irish
But I mеt him in group, so I’m non-judgmental
Buh bum bum bujjjjbuahuabbbum
Made my intro like
‘Hey, my name is Paul, and welcome to mindfulness’’
That’s when he cut me off, saying:
“I am the Irishman
I am the Light
I’ve got a fine art poster print
And a bucket of ping pongs
The Answer: Balls of ya muthafuckin chest, Rockwell, believe it
You betta believe it
Muthafuckas makin’ Heyzeus look like a pacman
You betta believe it
Balls on chest? whiffin whiffin
Ewwwwww You betta believe I’m sniffin’
Schobbah lobbah Schobbah lobbah
Schobbah lobbah Schobbah lobbah’
Schobbah lobbah what?! Schobbah Lob
I am! I am off to find the Nostrils’ my solution.”
Most psychiatrists only want easy patients
Most psychiatrists only take easy patients
Easy patients. I mean easy patients
You know easy patients?
Motherfuckers just afraid of the color yellow
I don’t care about fine art poster prints
I don’t care about God Nostrils
But I care for that man
And hope he finds them off guard
Ewwww, I can tell
Phlassy Paul E Swartzel
And I can tell thatcha got it tonight
Goofballs around me now
Baum-bahm-bahm bum-Baum-bah- Baum
Everybody I know’s goin
Buah-bum-bum-bum Nbah Byah Byah
Hey, I never done that before
Baum-bahm-bahm bum-Baum-bah- Baum
Guess I was a little bit too busy
doing whatcha call something else, I mean something else
But I don’t remember now
Ewwww, I can tell
Phlassy Paul E Swartzel
And I can tell thatcha got it tonight
Buckle-Buckle around again
And, no, he ain’t friendly
Tell the kids they better gettuh
Runnin’ amok soon as they can
Cause no one in town will care
Much less pretend t’ give a fuck
That’s thuh truest of parables, bluest uh pair of balls
Hook, line, and sink you up
I still snorkel in the tub
Playing Beetho-
-ven while I’m on the hunt
For giant squid
And I prey/pray(?)
Old Friends
I’m Jaws
and I jump on the boat